From Mouths of Babes
A celebration of parenting with Katrina Roe

Category Archives: Early childhood

Adventure in the suburbs

April 16, 2013

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Sometimes I miss living a life that was a little more adventurous than the life I’m living right now.

I live in hope that when my kids are a bit older we might do more kayaking or hiking or family camping trips.  We haven’t really done a lot of that so far.  But in my heart I also believe that being adventurous is just as much about being open to ideas and possibilities that come up in everyday life.  So on the first day of the school holidays we went for a little bushwalk and Caillie told me she wanted to camp in the backyard and have a midnight feast.  Because I’d dearly love to foster a spirit of adventure in my children, if I was half the mother I would like to be I would have rushed home and set up the tent.  But I was tired, and it felt like just a bit too much effort.  So instead I said, “Why don’t we have a campfire and cook sausages and bacon for dinner and toast marshmallows by the fire, but then go back inside to sleep…”  I think it was the marshmallows that clinched it.

What kid doesn’t love toasting marshmallow’s by the fire?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAActually building a fire is pretty damn fun too.  Collecting the sticks, discussing which ones look like they would burn well, building it up in just the right arrangement.  I must say I was quite proud of my fire.  Normally my husband likes to don the Akubra, play the part of the bushman and expertly fan the flames, but he was still at work, so I actually enjoyed doing it myself for once.  We all had sooo much fun!  We really felt like we were away on holidays camping.  Never mind that the Billy tea was full of sticks and the sausages were burnt to a crisp – it was so dark we couldn’t actually see what we were eating which was probably just as well!   But we had an awesome adventure in our own back yard. I even went foraging in the fridge for milk and heated up Molly’s bedtime bottle in the billy, which I thought was very hardcore considering there was a microwave just inside the back door. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And the best bit was that after we’d lazed around the campfire drinking tea and snacking on marshmallows, when the mozzies started eating us for dinner, we could all go back inside.  By that time, the kids were so tired out from their dinner in the dark that they were both tucked up in bed by seven-thirty!  My sister and I still had time to have a glass of red wine and watch To Rome with Love (How funny is the opera singer in the shower?)

As much as it’s fun to be an adventurer, it’s also quite nice to be suburban! 

Have you had adventures with your children?  What age did they start to be able to handle slightly more adventurous activities?  Are there things you miss from life before babies?

PS.  For Mums on a budget, his was probably also the cheapest fun I’ve had with my kids for a long time!

Posted by in Early childhood, Family and Relationships, Lifestyle Tags: , , , ,

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Milestones and memories

April 2, 2013

Caillie's lost tooth

We recently had a big moment in our household.

Our six year old, Birdy, lost her first tooth.

I realise that mightn’t sound like a very big moment, but it was special to us.

You see, Birdy has been waiting a very long time to lose that tooth.  She’s already six and she’s been waiting since she turned five to lose a tooth.  She’s seen all her friends losing their baby teeth – some of them have even lost three or four – and all the while she’s been waiting to lose her very first one.

When it finally did fall out, it couldn’t have happened at a better time.

You see, just three days before we had lost our little baby boy, Alexander.

I was fifteen and half weeks pregnant when we discovered that there was no heartbeat.  When you lose a baby like that, you don’t just lose them here and now, you also lose your future with them.  You lose the hope of looking forward to their birth, of seeing their first smile, of hearing their first words, helping them take their first steps and holding their hand on their first day at school.  In that one horrible moment when the ultrasound operator says, “I’m sorry, but I can’t find a heartbeat”, you lose all those first moments.

So when Birdy lost her first tooth, I was excited and happy to see her so excited and happy.  But it was also a reminder that even in this sad time of loss, there are so many ‘firsts’ to look forward to with our two girls.  One day soon, Molly will take her first steps.  Then there will be her first day of pre-school and school, there will be special birthdays, holidays and graduations, maybe one day a wedding and grandchildren.

Instinctively, I wanted to make this ‘first’ occasion special for Birdy.  After she went to bed, I stayed up late, writing a colourful letter from the Tooth Fairy.  I covered it with sparkles and sprayed it with perfume. When she woke up, she was so excited to find her gold coin and to discover her letter.  I have no doubt that writing that letter from the tooth fairy was therapeutic for me.  I had fun creating it and I enjoyed the anticipation of seeing her face when she found it, but it also sprang from a desire to make my girls’ childhood as magical, joyful and tender as I can.

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Losing her first tooth brought Birdy such simple pleasure.  Seeing her happy made me feel happy, even in the midst of such deep sadness.  A tooth falling out is really no great achievement – it’s just a natural process, one small part of growing up.

But growing up is something Alexander will never do.

Childhood is so fleeting and every child’s life is so precious.  That’s why even losing a tooth is worth celebrating, worth treasuring, worth smiling about.

Posted by in Early childhood, Infertility and miscarriage, Philosophical Musings Tags: , , , , , , ,

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Clam shells, mouldy mattresses and egg-carton dinosaurs

March 12, 2013

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We’ve had our regular council clean-up this week.

I love council cleanup. I love seeing the detritus of people’s lives hoisted out on the street. I love that for a few days, outside those perfectly manicured lawns, there are half-rotten pieces of outdoor furniture, mildewy mattresses, discarded prams and broken clamshell paddling pools. It reminds me that even the lives of those who appear to have everything under control still contain a bit of mess and clutter.

There are two basic types of people in this world, chuckers and hoarders.  Chuckers enjoy council cleanup because it’s a chance to clean out some mess; hoarders love it even more because they can drive around the streets looking for freebies to collect, just in case they need them for a rainy day.

In my heart, I’m more of a chucker.

I love to de-clutter. I love to give stuff away. But I’m also a big believer in recycling and not wasting things, so I must confess that our backyard is full of other people’s discarded treasure – climbing frames, outdoor furniture, baby swings, even some of our kids bikes have been salvaged from council cleanup.

But all this chucking and salvaging and de-cluttering has raised a much bigger question for me, a question I’ve wrestled with ever since having kids: when is it OK to throw out or give away your kids’ belongings?

Especially without telling them, let alone asking their permission?

I found this especially hard when my daughter was at pre-school. She would bring home piles of craft that she’d made and all of it was really special to her and had to be kept forever. Thankfully home-made stuff usually falls apart and you can eventually convince your child that the egg-carton dinosaur really doesn’t bear much resemblance to a dinosaur now that its ears and tail have fallen off and the words ‘free-range’ appear to be tattooed down its back where the green paint has scratched off. But it’s not just art and craft that clutters up the house, it’s also stuff like those stupid little kinder surprise toys, party bags full of junk from the $2 shop, colouring books that are ¾ finished or that favourite top they always want to wear but that is now so stained and full of holes that you’re worried they’ll be mistaken for a homeless street urchin if they go out in public.

How long do you keep that stuff? And is it okay to just throw it away after they’ve gone to bed?

I have a strong memory from childhood of the moment I discovered that my mum had thrown out my absolute favourite pair of shoes. The soles were falling off, and I was seriously in danger of causing myself a permanent disability if I kept wearing them, but I was absolutely devastated that my Mum had thrown them away without telling me. And because I remember that feeling, I always have this lingering sense of guilt when I throw something of Birdy’s away without asking her.

I also know that if I  throw something away without asking, I have to be prepared to face that terrible moment when she says, “Mum, have you seen that little parachute man I got at Luke’s party!”, or ‘Where’s my favourite orange T-shirt?”  In that moment, will I be brave enough to say, “Honey, I’m really sorry, but I threw it away,” or will I find yourself umm-ing and aaaring and muttering, ‘Gosh, I just can’t remember exactly where I last saw that… Maybe it’s in the wash!’

Do you throw away your kids stuff without asking them, or do you consult them before you heave things out? How do you stay on top of the clutter?

Posted by in Early childhood, Family and Relationships, Lifestyle Tags: , , , ,

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Travelling with kids

March 7, 2013

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We’ve been away on holidays last week.  It was my Dad’s 80th birthday so went to visit him in the little town where I grew up.  I also managed to throw to together a mini-book tour, visiting my two old primary schools, a local pre-school and hosting a special Storytime at Griffith City Library.  But a holiday can’t be all work and no play and since I had all that family babysitting on tap, we also managed to enjoy an extremely rare kidfree dinner out with some old friends.  During our uninterrupted conversation, we got to reminiscing about the travelling we’d done overseas when we were younger, before we had kids.   As the stories came out of various shenanigans around the world, I realised that one of the few things I miss from my life before kids was being able to occasionally travel to other parts of the world  (that and having any kind of uninterrupted adult conversation for more than five minutes!)

Of course, some people do manage to keep travelling after they have children, it’s just a lot more expensive and takes a lot more organization and planning.  It’s also likely to be a different style of travelling.  You might be less likely to back-pack around Europe and more likely to spend a week in a resort in Fiji!

I’ve never done one of those Fiji holidays, but they seem to be very popular with families because they include free kids clubs.  In fact they’re so popular around here that nearly every kid from Birdy’s kindy class has either been to Fiji or Bali in the last year.  She even said to me last holidays, “Mum, next time we have a holiday, can we go to Bali or Fiji so I can get my hair braided?”  She wanted to come back to school with braided hair like so many of her friends.  So what did we do?  We went to Griffith – OK so it’s not exactly Fiji, but there are lots of Tongans there!

For me, half the point of travelling is to see something different and have new experiences and you don’t have to go overseas for that.   On our holiday, we drove for eight hours in the car without stopping – that was a new experience.  We saw emus on the Hay plains – that was a little bit exciting!  And of course there was lots of time with family which is always special.  But one of the highlights of the holiday was when we went to Canberra on the way home.  We had a really nice day out at Questacon, which the kids loved, then at night we wandered the streets of Canberra in the -5 degree icy wind to see the Enlighten festival.  This is where some of Canberra’s leading artists create artworks that are projected onto the city’s most iconic buildings, like the old Parliament House and the National Library.  That was pretty spectacular.

Later that night, when we arrived home feeling cold, weary and hungry – we had another completely new experience – we discovered that Birdy and I have knits! That’s probably what we’ll remember – this was the holiday when we had knits for the first time!

So instead of staying up late having red wine and conversation, we stayed up to midnight treating our headlice.  My friend Jacqui pointed out to me that this was a pretty serious indication of the depth of our friendship that she was willing to stay up half the night picking knits out of my hair with fine tooth comb.  (I have a lot of hair, so it’s not a small job!)

The funny thing is, Caillie and I have now got our hair plaited to stop our knits from spreading.  So Caillie did go to back to school after her holiday with braids like she wanted.  We just didn’t have to go to Fiji to get them!

Reading Marty's Nut-Free Party at a special Storytime at Griffith City Library

Reading Marty’s Nut-Free Party at a special Storytime at Griffith City Library

Posted by in Early childhood, Education and learning, Lifestyle Tags: , ,

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Bath time is fun time!

February 26, 2013

Bathtime

My husband and I received a nasty letter this week from our real estate agent.  You see we belong to that second-class group of citizens known as renters, who live at the mercy of our landlords and we received that notice we live in fear of – that the rent is going up… again. And whenever we get one of those letters I find myself thinking about all the things we don’t have in our very basic three bedroom house – no dishwasher, no air-con, no built-ins, no lovely ensuite.  But there is one thing we have that I appreciate more than all those other things put together and that is the humble bathtub!

The bath is just such a great way to keep small children occupied at the end of the day when they’re getting to that ratty, “I’m bored, I’m hungry, I’m tired” time of day known to many parents as ‘arsenic hour’.  There have been many occasions when I’m looking after my niece and nephew and I’ve reached the point where if I have to adjudicate one more squabble I’m going to pull my eyelashes out one by one, so I’ll just chuck them all in the bath together and buy myself half an hour of peace.

There seems to be something about the bath that has a natural calming effect on kids.  You know yourself how at the end of a bad day a warm bath can be really soothing.  It’s the same for kids, all that warm water seems to calm down their overstimulated little nervous systems and help them relax.   Also, so often when kids get ratty it’s because of some physical need that’s not being met.  If they’re hot, you can throw them in the bath to cool down, if it’s a cold day you can throw them in a warm bath to warm up.   If they’re hungry, it distracts them until dinner’s ready.   It’s a win-win situation.

The bath also helps bridge the age gap between kids.  There’s almost five years between my girls, but when they have a bath it’s one of their best play times together.  Water play really isn’t that different whether you’re five or three or one.  Before we had Molly I used to feel quite sad that Birdy had nobody to play with in the bath, so now I get a lot of joy from seeing them playing and laughing together.   And for babies, it never gets boring!  They learn so much from playing with water – splashing, pouring from one thing into another, learning what floats and what sinks, blowing bubbles, watching the water disappear down the plug hole – what a great mystery that is for a baby!  The properties of water are endlessly fascinating.

So yes, bathtime is now one of my absolute favourite times of the day.  It probably comes a close second to Mummy’s quiet cup of tea time, while Molly takes a nap.  That’s also a pretty special time of day.

Posted by in Babies, Early childhood, Lifestyle, Toddlers Tags: , , ,

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Living in Lego Land

February 12, 2013

Lego

Last year, some good friends of mine travelled from the country to Sydney to bring their kids to the Lego exhibition at the Powerhouse.  At the time I was a little surprised that Lego could inspire such devotion.  But last weekend I was introduced to the world of Lego for the first time and I now understand where that devotion springs from.  I think I’ve been converted to a Lego fan!  And I’m obviously not the only one.  I recently learned that if you laid end to end the amount of Lego sold in a year, you could circumnavigate the world ten times.

My daughter was recently given her first big tub of Lego for her sixth birthday (we’ve had little bits and pieces of Lego before, but never a big set) and it kept her busy for 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon.  That was 3 hours of blissful peace and quiet while Molly took her afternoon nap.  I put on my Angus and Julia Stone live album and sat there fishing for pieces from a huge tub.  It was quite therapeutic – almost like running sand through your fingers!  I was just sifting through piles of Lego looking for the pink arch piece or the red flower piece or whatever.  And I was really enjoying it until that moment where there was one crucial piece missing in a set that we’d only just opened, which meant we couldn’t finish what we were making.  And then it ceased to feel therapeutic and suddenly felt like a lesson in anger management!  Grrr.  But even with that frustration, if I had boys, I would definitely be investing in some pretty nice Lego, because anything that can keep a boy quietly occupied without a computer screen has to be a good thing.

There actually has been some research into developmental outcomes of playing with construction blocks – not necessarily Lego but anything that involves building things out of bricks and blocks.  Obviously it’s good for fine motor skills and spatial awareness, but it also helps kids cooperate because if you’re building something you’re better off working together, rather than being competitive.  It teaches children to follow instructions, but also to develop creative problem solving when they go off-plan.  It’s even been shown to lead to improvements in maths!  I also think there’s some good discipline involved because it teaches children to follow a task through to completion.  Then at the end there’s all the imaginative play that takes place when they’ve finished building their rocket or space station or whatever.  Birdy played with her horse and stable for the rest of the weekend, but the great thing is that when they get bored of playing with what they’ve made, they can just smash it up and make something else!

Finally I think that Lego can be a great vehicle for teaching children about forgiveness because when their little brother or sister inevitably destroys that space alien they’ve just spent three weeks making, they’re going to have to learn about forgiveness!

Do the kids (or big kids) in your family enjoy playing with Lego?  Did you play with it as a child? 

Posted by in Early childhood, Education and learning Tags: , ,

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A wealth of treasure without spending a cent

February 6, 2013

One of the things that I’ve been wanting to do this year is to have a little bit more structure and routine in the week.  When you first have a new baby, it can be very hard to find any kind of structure in your life. But this year I really want to make the effort to get out of the house and do some things with Molly.  And the first thing on my list is to do a regular trip to the local library.

When Birdy was little I used to take her to the library once or twice a week, but since she’s been at school, she now brings home books from the school library and we haven’t been going up to our local library as much.  But during the holidays our book supply was cut off so we found ourselves back the local library out of sheer desperation.  And the funny thing is, whenever we go to the library, Birdy still wants to see the Library Storytime man that used to come and read to her class at daycare.  That’s two or three years ago.  He is like a rock star to her.  She goes all shy and says, “Look, Mum there’s the Library man!”  He obviously made a big impression on her.

Chris Cheng does a special Storytime at Leichhardt Library

Chris Cheng does a special Storytime at Leichhardt Library

Because I had my new children’s book out last year, I actually went to read it at some of the local library Storytime sessions.  I was pleasantly surprised by how well attended they were.  I visited a number of different libraries, Ryde, Balmain, Leichhardt, Mosman and they were all packed to the rafters.  Some of them had more than 40 kids turning up for Storytime!  I was encouraged that so many parents recognise the value of doing this kind of activity with their kids.  And it’s free!  There is so little you can do these days that is free.

I was also impressed by how lovely many of the story spaces are now.  So many libraries have made it a priority to open up their space, or to have a special room that they’ve decorated for the kids.  It makes the library so much more appealing for the children.  When I was a child, libraries were somewhere you had to be quiet and they weren’t much fun to visit.  Now the best libraries are much more of a community centre.  Leichhardt Library is a great example of that.  It’s right in the middle of the Italian forum, really easy to access and very much in the heart of the community.  Sadly, in other parts of the world, such as in the UK many public libraries are closing down.  Last week I heard a really interesting interview with with Caitlin Moran who’s the author of How to Be A Woman.   (She’s pretty out there so don’t take this as an endorsement!) One of the things she was talking about was that the closure of public libraries has been such a loss in the UK.  She pointed out that libraries are one of the last places you can go without needing to spend money or without having any kind of commercial exchange.  In a library, your choices aren’t limited by your finances.  That’s why they’re such a great place to take little kids.  If they say ‘I want this’, you can say ‘Sure thing’ and it doesn’t cost you anything.  If they want ten books, you can still say ‘No worries!’.  And if they want to stay and look at the books for 2 hours, there’s no pressure to leave just because you’ve finished your coffee an hour ago.

So if you haven’t already, make this the year you introduce your kids to the local library.  Find out when your nearest Storytime is and make it a regular date.  Not only does it foster a love of books and learning in your children, but according to Professor Torr from the Institute of Early Childhood at Macquarie University, studies show that a child’s pre-school vocabulary relates to their literacy achievement in later life.  In other words, reading to your child now does affect their future learning outcomes.  We’re really lucky to have this amazing free resource, so make the most of it.  Otherwise one day you’ll drive past and notice there’s a shiny new McDonalds or Starbucks where your local public library used to be.

Do you enjoy Storytime at  your local library?  Is your library kid-friendly?

Posted by in Early childhood, Education and learning, Lifestyle Tags: , , , ,

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Baby-led weaning

December 10, 2012

I got a bit of a shock this week.  One night, I finished breastfeeding Molly and put her to bed for the night and she refused to sleep.  After trying everything, I wondered if she was hungry and offered her a bottle of milk.  She devoured it so I put her back to bed.  She still wouldn’t settle.  Eventually I got her up again and as we came back into the kitchen she lunged for the empty bottle of milk.  So I gave her another bottle of milk and put her back to bed.  The next morning, when I tried to breastfeed her, she totally refused it.  She wanted the bottle! She has clearly decided she’s weaning, whether I like it or not.

katrina feed bylisajay

Emotionally, I’m not really feeling ready to wean her, but sometimes weaning just happens naturally like that, where the baby loses interest and the milk supply gradually drops away.  Other times the mother wants to stop breastfeeding and the baby has to be almost forced off the breast.  I’d actually prefer it happened this way, where she loses interest, rather than me deciding when to wean her.  But either way, it’s good if it happens gradually so we can both get used to the idea.  There are certainly some bonuses to weaning.  It makes it easier to go out at night or have a sleep-in!  But it’s also hard to give up that beautiful physical closeness that mum and baby spend together when you’re breastfeeding.   There’s nothing quite like holding your baby while she accidently falls asleep playing with your hair.  It’s really special.

But if we’re talking about weaning, the latest catch-cry in parenting is this concept of baby-led weaning.

Molly eating 2

It gets a bit confusing because the term ‘weaning’ means different things to different people.  In the UK, the term means introducing solid foods, whereas in the US it implies giving up breastfeeding.  In Australia, we use the word to mean both things.

Baby led-weaning is just a fancy term that means letting your child feed themselves solid food from the word go.  You don’t spoon-feed them at all.  So rather than feeding your baby rice cereal and purees you just start giving them pieces of real food between their milk feeds.  And ideally you should offer the same types of foods that you are eating.

Molly eating 1

So what are the supposed benefits of baby-led weaning?

1) Well there’s really very little research in this area but advocates of baby-led weaning say it produces less fussy eaters because they’re eating a wide range of foods early on.

2) It’s more sociable – because baby is more likely to eat with the rest of the family

3) It’s good for their fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination

4) There is some evidence that baby –led weaning leads to a lower incidence of obesity later in life. This could be because they are learning to self-regulate from the beginning or it may be because of the types of foods that the babies eat – such as more complex carbohydrates.

Molly eating 2

And are there any downsides to baby-led weaning?

It’s very messy and there’s lots of food wasted.  If you’re eating Atlantic salmon it can be disappointing to see so much of it going on the floor.

It is also quite time consuming.  At first the baby doesn’t get much of the food in their mouth so you can spend a lot of time over meals but still not know how much they’ve eaten.

Some people worry about the risk of choking.  It should be a problem, but to be safe, never leave your baby alone when they are eating.

Personally I’ve tried to do a bit of both. I did do purees from four months because my baby wasn’t putting on enough weight.  I also found that filling Molly up with mashed potato or pureed casserole encouraged her to sleep a bit longer at night. But I also tried to use some of the Baby-led weaning principles by offering a wide variety of family finger foods from 6 months.  Baby-led weaning is a relatively new concept, so I think the jury is still out as far as the research goes.

If people want to know more about the idea of Baby-Led Weaning, Gill Rapley is the guru of baby-led weaning in the UK.   She has brochures online and a book and a website where you can get more info.  www.baby-led.com

Posted by in Babies, Early childhood, Health Tags: , , , , ,

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Coping with change…

December 5, 2012

Well now that we’re into December and officially into the down hill run for the year I thought it might be good to talk a little bit about dealing with change.   The end of the year is often a time when both children and adults are gearing up for big changes in their life.  Perhaps moving house, one or both parents changing jobs, having a good friend move away or starting at a new daycare, pre-school, school or even starting high school for the first time.  Change can be difficult for anyone, but especially for kids.

Some people seem to cope with change better than others…

Personally, I’m not very good at coping with change.  Recently I’ve been reflecting over the past 12 months and I’ve actually had quite a bit of change in my life.  I gave up my job which I loved, I had a new baby, I launched my first children’s book and had to learn a whole new industry and then my eldest child started school.   My husband also changed his working hours more than once.  There have been a few times this year when we’ve thought about moving to another city, going overseas or buying a house in another area of Sydney and I really haven’t wanted to.  My instinct has been to sit tight.  So personally I’m not wanting any big changes for 2013, but I know that for lots of families some change is inevitable.

So I’ve done some research into how to help children cope with change and here are a few ideas.

- Usually anxiety around change is fear of the unknown.  For children they might be worried about not knowing who they’ll make friends with or who their teacher will be.  So remind them of other times they’ve made new friends or coped with a big change.

- Give them as much information as you can about the details,even if you can’t answer all their questions about what life will be like next year.  Take them to see their new house or new school or show them photos so they get a sense of what their life might be like.

 

- Focus on the positive aspects of the change so they have things to look forward to.

-  Practice the rituals – getting dressed in the school uniform, packing up the back pack, practising where to catch the bus.

-  Kids love routine, so it’s a good idea to keep some aspects of your routine the same, especially routines around meals and bedtime.

-  And make sure they have plenty of notice about any changes that are happening.  Many kids don’t react well to having things sprung on them at the last minute.

Often the changes that affect children most are things that they have no control of… so it’s important to be aware of signs that suggest they’re NOT coping.

Hopefully they’ll tell you if they’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, but if not it may show in their behaviour.  Whether that’s through tantruming or being withdrawn or not sleeping or eating as well as usual – all those things can be signs that kids are bottling up their feelings.

The good news is that young kids get most of their security from their relationship with their parents so as long as you remain constant and you’re available to talk to, that can be very reassuring for them.   Also little kids are used to dealing with lots of big changes – learning to walk and talk are two of the most colossal changes a person could go through.  Children are always learning new things about the world.  So they may even cope better with change than we do.

If our kids are really concerned about a change, it’s possible that they’re taking their cues from the adults around them. 

Maybe we’re the ones who are having trouble coping with the idea of our baby starting school, or of leaving all our friends.  We need to make sure we’re not projecting our worries onto our kids and burdening them with things that otherwise wouldn’t concern them.

Have you had some big changes in your life?  How have you coped with them?  How have your children adapted to moving house, changing cities, moving overseas or starting a new school or pre-school?

Posted by in Babies, Behaviour management, Early childhood, Family and Relationships, Lifestyle, Toddlers

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Something to love

October 29, 2012

A teddy tea party

Not so long ago, I found myself in the backyard having a tea party with a five year old, a baby and two teddy bears.  My family gave me a lovely tea set for my last birthday, and ever since then Birdy has wanted to have a tea party in the garden.  It had to be a real tea party with real tea.  Even the teddy’s were poured a cup and Birdy dutifully drank it when I wasn’t looking.

Whenever children play with their teddy’s it’s amazing to see them slide in and out of fantasy and reality.

One day Birdy will tell me she’s going to marry her teddy and another day she’ll carelessly squash him and say, “He’s not real Mum!”  But the wonderful thing about a teddy is that they can be real when they’re really needed.  In the moment when nobody else understands them, or nobody wants to play with them, a teddy can be a child’s best friend.

When I was a kid, I had a blue furry Teddy in stripy pyjamas!  He was called Peter Bear and I absolutely adored him.  I always cuddled him as I fell asleep.  I also remember times when Mum and Dad were really cross with me, when I would throw myself on my bed and cry my heart out, and in those moments I honestly believed that nobody really understood me except Peter Bear.  Fortunately those episodes didn’t last long, but when they happened it was good to have that special Teddy to cuddle.  As a child, the worst feeling of all was when everybody would laugh at you.  You’d just said something perfectly serious, and then suddenly all the bigger kids or the grown-ups would be laughing at you and you had no idea why.  They were teddy-bear moments.

Molly hasn’t really noticed her bear yet, but Birdy’s bear is called January and he’s very special. He’s been a great source of comfort during many hospital trips, operations and road-trips.  The downside of having a special toy is that when they get left behind it can be rather problematic.  There was one time January got left at pre-school on a Friday and was locked in for the whole weekend.  That was a little traumatic.  There was also the time we went to Bathurst for a wedding and January was left behind at home.  There were quite a few tears at bedtime that night!

We recently did our shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. 

For those who aren’t familiar with the concept this is where you fill a shoebox with presents for a child living in poverty.   Samaritan’s Purse actually recommends that you include ‘Something to Love’ in the shoebox.  A couple of years ago I had the privilege of going to PNG to deliver some of the shoeboxes to the children, some of whom were quite neglected.  For those kids, having a special toy to love could be a wonderful source of comfort.  Not just because of the unconditional love they get from the teddy, but also because it’s a reminder that somebody on the other side of the world actually cares about them enough to send that teddy in the first place.

When we give a Teddy to a child, we’re giving them a physical representation of love that they can feel and hold and touch, even when they may not feel loved. 

In that moment of high drama, when they run to their room, slam the door and say, “Don’t come in!” the teddy in their arms will still be there for them.  So even though kids today have so many fancy high-tech toys, I don’t think anything will ever replace the humble Teddy Bear.  Kids in PNG and kids in Australia still all need ‘something to love’.

Did you have a favourite teddy or soft toy as a child?  Have your children become attached to a particular teddy or a blanket as a comforter?  I’d also love to hear from you if you have been doing the Operation Christmas Child boxes with your children.

Posted by in Babies, Early childhood, Family and Relationships Tags: , , , , ,

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