Ok, so infertility is no laughing matter. But for all those of us who know that the term ‘family planning’ is somewhat of an oxymoron, I thought maybe it was time to tackle the issue with a bit of humour! So here’s my list of the best things about having only one child.
- You can walk into a café without sending all the wait-staff into a grommit-induced panic attack that leaves them cowering in the kitchen while you turn their polished floors into a piece of performance art.
- You can still entertain some hope of one day traveling overseas again.
- Your child is so used to adult conversation they’d rather sip babyccinos while discussing film history than go to a play centre (So babyish, Mum.)
- You don’t have to stop the car five times in a half-hour trip to break up the fights and adjudicate disputes.
- You’ll only ever have to attend one game of Saturday sport, one school fete and one parent-teacher night, which should be enough for anybody.
- Christmas is cheaper.
- Everything is cheaper.
- You might have some hope of maintaining meaningful relationships with non-breeding friends.
- Securing a babysitter doesn’t require you to provide safety gear, personal liability insurance or an emergency exit.
- From time to time, if your child isn’t teething, sick, coughing, asthmatic, experiencing separation anxiety, bad dreams, bedwetting or night terrors, you might just get a full night’s sleep.
How many kids do you have/not have? How many would you like to have? What are the pros and cons of your situation? Feel free to come up with your own list to suit your situation or add a few to mine…
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